No one tells you this, but one of the strangest things about becoming an adult is realizing you no longer know how to make friends.
If only making connections as an adult was as easy as sharing a tiffin box of maggi in school and instantly becoming best friends. Adult friendships take a bit more effort. On an honest note, they also feel more intentional and real.
Also, let’s clear this up early on — you don’t need to make new friends if you’re not in the space to. Wanting to meet new people is in no way an indication of feeling lonely or missing something. Sometimes, you just want someone to talk to who doesn’t work with you, or who gets your dark meme references without explanation. That’s valid.
Here’s what’s helped me and might work for you too:
Start with shared spaces
You don’t need to join an official club or networking events with name tags. Think smaller: gym, workshops, cafes, even your regular walking route. Familiar faces make it easier to start conversations that don’t feel forced.
Be okay with going first
Most people aren’t cold, they are just unsure if they are welcome. Sometimes it just takes one person to say, “Hey, I see you here often” or “Wanna grab a coffee sometime?” goes a long way. It’s not weird. It’s just brave, in a quiet kind of way.
Be the kind friend you want
If you want someone honest, fun, low maintenance — be that. Friendships reflect energy. If you are supportive, consistent, and kind without being overbearing, that vibe usually circles back.
Online works too
The most interesting convos start on Instagram these days. Whether it’s a response to a meme or commenting on someone’s story, it’s a great starting point. You already have a shared taste. Might as well see where it goes.
Revisit old connections
That “almost friend” from college? The mutual you always vibed with but never got to know? Reach out. You are not “too late” to reconnect. It’s actually kind of refreshing when someone does.
Say yes more often
It’s not about being at every party. But if someone asks you to come to a random plan and your first instinct is “ehh,” try saying yes anyway. Worst case, you leave early. Best case, you meet someone new. Low stakes.
Let it build slowly
Not every convo will turn into a friendship. Not every hangout will feel magical. That’s fine. Good friendships take time, like months, not days. Let it build slowly, and don’t put pressure on it
And one more thing...
You don’t need a big circle. You don’t need someone to talk to 24/7. This is about choosing to connect, not depending on someone to fix your loneliness or boredom. The goal isn’t more people. It’s better ones.
So, if you are in that space where you want new friends, start small, be chill, and don’t overthink it. The rest will figure itself out.